• I just want to hug you for a week.

  • Jon Edwards

    hang out for a while will ya? things will get better over time…cliche right? but they usually do. as paramedics, we know very well how fragile life is, and the tragedy that traumatic death brings to survivors. apply that knowledge to your life..be a survivor. if it kind of seems that maybe you feel like you ‘gave everything away’ then you did, and now is the opportunity to let time scar those wounds over…and become stronger from the collective weight of all the madness and pain we absorb in the field.

    reading your story took me instantly back to the moment my partner realized the patient we found twisted and broken, ejected from a vehicle traveling 90 mph, lying uphill from the car, gurgling for life, was in fact his niece. i cut my fingers on her teeth trying to pry her jaws apart..long story short…she did not survive, but she will always haunt me.

    as time passes, the sting of death is less severe and the madness calms. reminders of those things we dont speak of are hidden everywhere…in the sound of a siren, or the smell of fresh cut grass randomly trigger a response. those will always be there…but good things will always be there too. family, friends, co workers, etc.

    choose life 😉

  • Diana

    Miss Georgia, I was also a Trauma Queen. A black cloud that had a magnet to follow me, on duty and off. One of my last calls was a lady who looked me straight in the eyes and told me she couldn’t breathe just seconds before she stopped and minutes before she died (after an MVA). I couldn’t seem to work fast enough to fight to keep her alive and my dreams now consist of her begging me to help her. My biggest regret, my eternal guilt, is that I was working so hard to save her, I gave her no human comfort. No compassion. You already know there are some people we just can’t save, no matter what we do. It’s not up to us. The die has been cast. Have some compassion for yourself. You worked hard! You fought, now you’ve bled and you’ve cried. You deserve some peace and she deserves to know that her death does not cause yours. Let her go and give her that peace too. Then maybe get a therapist or call a suicide hotline. Just don’t let go.

  • TacMed1