Autumn has always been my favorite time of the year: everything seems to slow down, preparing for the yearly reset we all get during the winter… Autumn is cool, crisp air and sunshine, candy and dressing up and masks and screaming; bats and ghosts and skeletons and hot chocolate around a crackling bonfire… but this year is different for me.
I’m stuck in Spring, on that cool, quiet morning that changed me. I still watch flames and hear screams and see skeletons, but on a truck, surrounded by a crowd, with your body laying in the road. Halloween makeup couldn’t even get somebody so pale, or their leg so mangled, or their face so zombified.
Nobody could dress up for fun like the reaper we raced that day. We raced long and fast and strong, and we lost. There is not a drop of fake blood on these hands of mine that I can see. It’s yours. When I started this path five years ago at the age of 16, I was invincible… now at 21, I’m not sure what that kid saw in this career.
I joined to help people, not to fail them and let them down. We can’t save them all is the slogan on bad calls, but what is the slogan on recovering? “It takes time”? How many times will I need to pass that tree and wonder: will this too reset and start new like the rest of the world… or have I become a ghost?
– Story written by an anonymous first responder.