I , like many of us have ghosts that haunt me. As I drive around I am reminded that that’s where that 33 year old patriot guard rider was hit by the F350, and here is where we pulled that 24 year old out of the river after 2 days of searching…..
The list goes on and on. When I lay down at night I don’t know if I’m going to relive the screams of a young mother as I did everything I could to get 7 week old Emma’s heart to beat again. But it was not meant to be.
The feel of the hands of a 26 year old male’s wife on my back, begging me to save him after he drowned in a river because they have 2 kids at home. Yes I have ghosts. At night I take sleeping medication prescribed by my doctor, and with it I average about six hours.
This job has its bad days because we live other people’s nightmares. We are the light at the end of their tunnel. We are their hope on the worst day of their life. All of those bad days are worth it when you have the really good day. The great extraction. The awesome rescue. That day CPR works. Those are the days that make it all worth it.
I love being a firefighter and working in EMS. It is a job like no other and i would not trade it for anything. I accept my ghosts, and will welcome the others as they come.
– Story written by Jessica, 34 year old FF/EMR.